if it kills me

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out
Something gave it away and it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on you face
To know that i know that you know now and baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing 'cause you and i, why we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend
Well, all i really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use but i still can't say after all we've been through
And all i really want from you is to feel me as the feeling inside keeps building
and i will find a way to you if it kills me
Well, how long can i go on like this, wishing to kiss you before i rightly explode
And this double life i lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes me nervous
If i get caught i could be risking it all
Well, baby there's a lot that i miss in case i'm wrong
If i should be so bold, i'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how i've longed to be your man
But i never say a word i guess i'm gonna miss my chance again
Well, all i really wanna do is love you
And all i really want from you is to feel me
And i will find a way to you if it kills me
It might kill me :'(

Feels like you're so distanced and I won't blame you for that.

You get stuck on my mind all day, everyday. There's something about you that makes me want to talk you, see you, touch you more and more... But we both know it's impossible. Feels like I've known you for so long but really we don't know each other afterall. All this time, I've been wasting my time hoping for that one wish to come true but I guess it's just part of my fantasies.

I really hope you appreciate all the efforts on everything I've done for you. I told you everything and yet you still think they're all lies although, a part of it are lies... I just don't want you to worry about me. I know that you're aware of my terrible condition right now but I can't handle this anymore. I want you to be happy and not worrying about me. I guess it's really impossible, eh?

I tried running away from my problems and you're right. Running away makes me a coward and guess what? I AM ONE!

Trying to give you space is not easy for me. It's working though, you've now moved on. I'm happy that you have made new friends and they all seem nice. I want you to always remember that I'll be always here for you, ready to listen and give you some advice though I know I suck at them. I love you. Moo<3 You know who you are and I'm truly sorry from all the mistakes I've done and sorry for making you cry. I didn't mean too. I'm such a jerk I freaking belong to hell.

arroyo turns SONA 2009 into a 2010 election campaign speech

As the campaign unfolds and the candidates take to the airwaves, I ask them to talk more about how they will build up the nation rather than tear down their opponents. Our candidates must understand the complexities of our government and what it takes to move the country forward. Give the electorate real choices and not just sweet talk….

these are good words, specially on the side of asking election opponents talking about how to build the nation rather than tear down opponents.

and yet, arroyo takes a jab at mar roxas one of the leading presidentiable candidates:

To those who want to be President, this advice: If you want something done, do it hard, do it well. Don’t pussyfoot. Just do it. Don’t say bad words in public.

and another jab at erap estrada, also a declared “undeclared” presidentiable who is also one of the leaders in the polls:

I am falsely accused, without proof, of using my office for personal profit. Many of those who accuse me of it have lifestyles and spending habits that make them walking proofs of that crime….
We can read their frustrations. They had the chance to serve this good country and they blew it by serving themselves….
Those who live in glass houses should cast no stones. Those who should be in jail should not threaten it, especially if they have been there….

this is another arroyo tactic that has been done many times over – turn things around:

The noisiest critics of constitutional reform tirelessly and shamelessly attempted Cha-Cha when they thought they could take advantage of a shift in the form of government. Now that they feel they cannot benefit from it, they oppose it.

the lighting fast push for con-ass and several attempts at cha-cha speaks of arroyo wanting to benefit from its success not to mention it is widely believed cha-cha is being done for the purpose of arroyo extending her grip on power.

we have a SONA where arroyo says political candidates should stay on talks on building the country and refrain from putting each other down. and yet in this same SONA, she actually attacks 2 leading opposition presidentiables.

combine that attack on leading opposition presidentiables with hiding behind on who benefits with cha-cha plus no categorical declaration that she will step down from power in 2010 leads you to conclude she has political ambitions beyond 2010.

this SONA is more than a SONA, it is an election campaign speech.

this SONA 2009, supposedly arroyo;s last SONA is classic arroyo – say half the truth, keep the other half a secret, while the other half that has been unsaid is the more important part.

the filipino people want to hear one and only one thing – her plans after 2010. the people want to hear a categorical statement that she will step down from power in 2010.

arroyo cannot say she does not know this is what the people want to hear. this is clear in all the surveys where the people want her out. aside from the surveys, key political figures, ramos one among them have categorically said arroyo need to let the nation know that she will step down from power in 2010. that says she has no excuse to ignore that desire, not to say it.

what we got is one half of the truth or so at least that is what she wants us to think

“I have never expressed desire to extend myself beyond my term.”

what she said there is that she has not uttered the words “i want to extend her term”, she did not say she did not want it in her mind. it is possible it is in her mind, but she just did not say it.

that statement sets us up for what might be next – it can happen where the congressmen she controls at the lower house will launch a ”clamor” for her to be the leader beyond her term. she can say the call for her to stay beyond 2010 is not coming from her, not her desire but the desire of the congressmen to do so. she will then in all humility accept the clamor and challenge and extend her term.

that is the last half of the truth that she did not “utter” today. this is classic arroyo.

Arroyo: No ‘expressed desire’ to extend term

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo said she “never expressed desire” to extend her term beyond 2010, but still kept the nation guessing on her political plans as she delivered her ninth and final State of the Nation Address (Sona).

“I have never expressed desire to extend myself beyond my term, many of those who accuse me of it try to cling like nails to their posts,” said Arroyo, who was wearing a bright purple terno.

“At the end of this speech, I shall step down from this stage but not from the presidency. My term does not end until next year. Until then, I will fight for the ordinary Filipino. The nation comes first. There is much to do as head of state to the very last day,” she said.

“A year is a long time. We will continue to invest in the economy, the environment, and education,” she said, adding that after her ninth and supposedly last Sona, it would be “more work” not “all politics.”

excited for the weeks to come?

scared or excited?

i'll be closing another chapter of my life as i leave my very 1st job. august 3 to be exact.

My boss' said that at least i knew i'll be successful in every field i'll be at. Well, i really wish.

It is really hard to leave those people i live with for almost half a yr but the situation really calls i should be practicing my profession.

There has been a lot of problems in that company and it is really overwhelming.

I got tired of all their promises that has been broken many times.

Well, i wish them well.

I hope i get to have a job before august ends. aja!!

As I stumble thru my dreams..

Heavy raindrops and thunders are the only thing I hear... Thinking of what they're doing right now. Worrying about what will happen in the future. I keep asking myself, "why me?". I understand the concept of life. Everyone makes mistakes so why not just forget about it, Live & Forget. If only I could switch life with someone I've done it long time. Who would want a miserable life anyways... People are just selfish creatures for wanting everything and not thinking carefully about their beautiful surroundings. Though, if they did something wrong who else would you blame? Of course the same kind, mostly the innocent one. Why is that? Everything just seem so unfair.
All I want in this stinky world is HAPPINESS. Is it that really hard to find ?

Sure you see me smile but please reconsider that. You don't know anything about me so I'm begging for you to stop judging me. It hurts... I AM A HUMAN BEING TOO.

LIVE LIFE TO IT'S FULLEST

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man. I'm self-determining and guided by strong, internal values.
I'm self-reliant, independent, quietly confident, funny, broad-minded and insightful. I have a full belly-laugh. Materialism doesn't motivate me and I'm happy to live a simple life. Child-like in my honesty, I write poetry from my heart. My family is a source of strength and I dearly love my family. The women I am trying to find should be nice, sweet, gentle, and loves the sea. Also strong, with a sense of humor, passionate and funny. Likes to travel, discovers something new. Likes to dance, slow kisses and spontaneous decisions but not in all situations.

Di Na Mababawi

Ngayo'y aking inuunawang pilit
Mga pagkukulang kong iyong ginigiit
Sana'y malaman mo na tanging ikaw lamang
Ang aking iniintindi
Nakatanim pa sa'king ala-ala
Pangako mong mananatili ka
Kaya't paglisan mo'y naiwan ang pusong ito
Na ngayo'y bitin na bitin
'Di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?
Nasa aking guniguni malamig mong tinig
Kasabay ng hanging na dumarampi
Na para bang ika'y nariyan sa aking paligid
Tahimik na nagmamasid
Ngunit di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?