^_^

Dear God,
Thank You for Everything you've given to everyone & Everything in this world.
I Will always & forever LOVE you

jem

Feels like you're so distanced and I won't blame you for that.

You get stuck on my mind all day, everyday. There's something about you that makes me want to talk you, see you, touch you more and more... But we both know it's impossible. Feels like I've known you for so long but really we don't know each other afterall. All this time, I've been wasting my time hoping for that one wish to come true but I guess it's just part of my fantasies.

I really hope you appreciate all the efforts on everything I've done for you. I told you everything and yet you still think they're all lies although, a part of it are lies... I just don't want you to worry about me. I know that you're aware of my terrible condition right now but I can't handle this anymore. I want you to be happy and not worrying about me. I guess it's really impossible, eh?

I tried running away from my problems and you're right. Running away makes me a coward and guess what? I AM ONE!

Trying to give you space is not easy for me. It's working though, you've now moved on. I'm happy that you have made new friends and they all seem nice. I want you to always remember that I'll be always here for you, ready to listen and give you some advice though I know I suck at them. I love you. Moo<3 You know who you are and I'm truly sorry from all the mistakes I've done and sorry for making you cry. I didn't mean too. I'm such a jerk I freaking belong to hell.

As I stumble thru my dreams..

Heavy raindrops and thunders are the only thing I hear... Thinking of what they're doing right now. Worrying about what will happen in the future. I keep asking myself, "why me?". I understand the concept of life. Everyone makes mistakes so why not just forget about it, Live & Forget. If only I could switch life with someone I've done it long time. Who would want a miserable life anyways... People are just selfish creatures for wanting everything and not thinking carefully about their beautiful surroundings. Though, if they did something wrong who else would you blame? Of course the same kind, mostly the innocent one. Why is that? Everything just seem so unfair.
All I want in this stinky world is HAPPINESS. Is it that really hard to find ?

Sure you see me smile but please reconsider that. You don't know anything about me so I'm begging for you to stop judging me. It hurts... I AM A HUMAN BEING TOO.

5steps to be happy :)

1) goal

2) start today

3) no shortcuts

4) motivate your self

5) be happy :)

^_~

System Glitch

It's been so long since I last checked my online diary and last night I just thought of updating it to a whole new look and a different purpose. I have used my blog as a place to breathe all sadness and pain that I have felt throughout the years that I have learn to post my thoughts in the world wide web. Just last night when I have thought of posting new entries in a different view, a new vision, a different sense.

Early this morning, I have tried to made my own template - just to extract the creative juices that I have inside; that's what I call them. I just wanna be different so I decided to make my blog as personalized as possible. So now, here it is. You are looking at my personalized blog. I have tried to find some easy ways to make some templates but I am not too lucky to find some. Although I know a little bit about CSS, it's still not easy for me to create one without any pattern. That's what I did, I made it and use some patterns. Just blessed that I have finished it before the day ends, LOL! Yes, it took a long long long time! haha! Anyways, when I finished my blog template, I have seen that the dates of my blog entries are not appearing; I don't know if it's because there is something wrong with what I've written on the xml template or what. But then, I have tried to use other blog templates, and it's still the same, so meaning, the problem is in blogger - system glitch maybe. I hope it can be fixed at the next few days. Ciao!

I've got my best friend back!!

We aren't fighting anymore. Ok. ok. We aren't fighting but I'M THE ONE THAT SUPPOSED THAT IT WAS HAPPEN.

I'm childish, selfish and too much concern with the only problem that happens to me. Instead of start to consider about the problem in the others opinion, I'd rather made my self as the object about the problem, the true one.

But then I was mindful that I'm totally wrong with that tot. I'm should be the one that could be blame over HIM. Yeah, I was the one that pump out this problem so I have a full responsibility to finished this. And what did i do? I'm such a hapless sheep, all I can do is just run away from the problem, forget it all, blamed my best friend and blah blah blah, instead of fix that problem.

I was blamed HIM as the one that made a big mistake. O-oh, what a disgust me!

But fortunately, it was over :) and i can get him back xD

Usapang lalaki =))

Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba.

*hinga ng malalim*

Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal.


*tingin sa stars*

Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal?

Eh yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya?
Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted?
Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo?

*tingin sa malayo*

Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na ang naghihirap.

Hassle ,kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun?

Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba?

Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.

At ano ang kapalit?

Well, depende sa trip nila.

Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na 'di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan.

Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo.

Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan.

Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi.

"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh..."

"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends.."

"Ha? Uhhmm..nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."

"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?"

"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna.."

"Para lang kitang kapatid e.."

Yaddah yaddah.

Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle.

Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.

Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko.

Ayun.

Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kadramahang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan dapat mlaman nila kung nsang lupalop ka, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka corny.

Ewan. Ganun ata talaga.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, eh di okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun.

*hinga ng malalim*

Pero alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.

*hinga ng malalim*

*tingin sa malayo ulit*

At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap.

*singhot*

Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong 'to, either sawa na sila, hindi na tayo trip, may nahanap na silang better saten, o kaya they need f*cking space and time muna.

Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod.

At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don? Syempre wasak na ang image naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan. Na playboy.

Na nagpapaiyak.

Tayo siyempre ang mga antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak.

Ang ending: , sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog.

Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no?

Ako, kamusta? Eto. Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak.

Ang mga babae talaga, o..

LRT :)

Kung sakaling malupit sau ang kapalaran, Alalahanin mo ako.
Dhl hindi mapapagod sa pag hihintay, itong wlang sawang tumitingin sa iyo..

9 Reasons people cheat......

1. Bored

I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence

At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion

Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You

If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

5. Nurturing

If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge

This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness

Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

8. The Thrill

Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, and creating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might

Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!

nakamamatay ang kasinungalingan, sna inyong iwasan... mahirap mag mukang tanga, mas mahirap ang gawing tanga... ganyan tlg ang istorya, my bida at isang tanga... kung sswertehin at masaka ka, ikaw ang bida... kung tanga ka at tatanga tanga, mabuti pang mag pakamatay k na... :D

Farewell

You'll never find anybody that achieves great success in life without a "give-up" story.
Nothings comes free, and there will come a time when you will find that you too will have give up something good. In order to gain something better.
Sometimes you just want to quit when things start hurting you. You want to leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse. But once you remember how much you've prayed, how much you really wanted it, and why you were fighting in the first place. Hope comes back into your heart and maybe, just maybe, it is worth going this far.
There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited at the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere.. Somehow... Someday....

Flew from the world

I know I'm wrong and I won't deny it. I don't want to do this but I know I have to. I need to be free while learning what love truly is. I need freedom but I still need to love for my soul to survive. I know I should not be clinging on to this thought I have inside my head but I know that this is the only thing that can make me strong and can make me continue living without fears, without pain, without sadness, without anything that would hurt me.
I have loved and lost; just like any other guys trying to move on. This is not easy, it really isn't. But I have to think about myself just for now. I need to be alive to continue learning and living with the jealous world who is stealing everything that I need. I know that letting go does not exist in my vocabulary but I am learning how to do it right now. I don't have to tell youwhat I need to do, because it will be better if I will just do it by myself without asking anyone's help.
I know I can survive, and I know I can forget all the pain and the hurts but all I need is time. I need to prepare for what will soon come into my life. I know that love is not for me and I won't fool anyone for this bad luck that I have for love. It is just not for me; that's it - love is not really for me.
All I want is to go somewhere that nobody knows me and no one is expecting too much from me. I want to live just like a normal person. I don't really need all these money and expensive things because the only thing that is important to me for now is peace of mind and simple life with God and with someone who will take care of me. I will not wish for more, all I want now is to be with God *literally* or the second option that I have is to live away from here.

Motto ni Ninyah

nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:48 PM): eh hirap kea
nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:53 PM): maloko
nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:55 PM): mas mabuti na ikaw manloko
nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:55 PM): kesa
nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:56 PM): ikaw
nyah_^ Nyah (3/6/2009 9:17:57 PM): maloko


-- maganda daw ang motto nya =)

eh ano kung korni ako

ang love prang sugal. minsan talo, minsan panalo, minsan tiba-tiba, minsan bawi lng pero lam mo kung anong masakit? ang makita mong panalo ka na sna, kaso d ka tumaya...
sabi nila "iwanan mona". sabi ko "ayoko". sbi nila "ok pa?" sbi ko "ayos lng". then tinanung nila ako isang arw "kya mo pa ba?" napaluha ako habang sinasabi "mahal ko eh, kya kakayanin ko"
ang hirap mainlove noh? nakakalito, hirap unawain. bkt kya gnun? kung ano pa ung pinakama magandang nagyari sa buhay mo, sa bandang huli, cxa ung pinakamasakit na alaala mo.
iniwan kita di dhl ayoko na sayo. tinalikuran kita di dhl galit ako sau, lumayo ako di dhl ayoko na kitang makita, umalis ako dhl ayoko nang umiyak habng nakikita kang masaya...sa piling nya
masakit i-give up ang feelings mo sa isang tao, pero minsan kylangan gawin dhl sa sakit. pero ang tunay na masakit eh eh ung aminin mo sa sarili mo n ang giniv-up mo ay ung taong alm mong makakapagpaligaya sayo.
madaling paglaruan ang pag-ibig. madaling manakit ng damdamin ng iba! madaling mag paiyak ng taong nag mamahal sau! pero mahirap makakita ng totoong taong mag mamahal sau!
minsan tinutulak mo ang isang tao palayo sau. kz alm mong babalik din cxa, pero mag-ingat ka sa pag tulak mo kz bka pag na realize mong mahalaga cxa sau, dmo na cxa mahila pabalik sau. :(

Love quote

kapag may magtatanong:

"Ba't mo minamahal yung taong ayaw sayo, madami namang iba diyan..."

sagutin mo:

"Kapag nauhaw ka, iinumin mo ba ang dagat dahil tubig din naman ito?"

YES! MALUPIT YUNG POINT! HAHAHAH! :D

How to get my ex back?

During courtship the idea of breaking up has not been thought by most people; we just try to think about the happy things that might happen if this will further result into a serious relationship. In the long run, others might feel bad about losing the one they love and might be too much into the “painful situation.” Now, my topic is about getting your ex boyfriend or ex girl friend back. This might sound weird because most of you don’t really know how to get the one that you love back in your life again. See, there are possible ways to bring a love back into your life again and start a brand new beginning with him/her.

Exchanging of hurtful words will be an addition to the pain that you will encounter while in the process of breaking up. Sometimes you might think that you can’t go on and he/she is just the only person that you want to cling on to this life when in fact, there are a lot of great men/women around you; well, this is the other side of the story. Let’s focus now on the steps that you need to do in order for you to get your ex back.

The first step is to cut off the communication that you have with him/her; this means no text, no calls, no letters, avoid seeing each other and etc. You better know what I mean and I just need to stress it – no communication at all. If you think that he might forget about you, well, it works otherwise. You have to believe it – it works the other way around. Instead of forgetting about you, it will just let him/her feel that you are gone and he/she will miss you badly unlike at the time that you are still together. People only realize that a person or thing is very precious until it is gone so you have to make him feel this way - you are special and it will be his/her lost without you in his/her life.

The main problem in a relationship is not about the cheating that occurs – it is about the situation that occurs even before your partner cheated on you. Think of something that you might have done and weigh on the things that you did before this situation to happened. Are you still giving enough attention to her/him and are you still showing the “need” of having her/him in your life? I am not talking about sex or what; it is about many other things that are basically much more significant than the “making love” issue. It is not about that, it’s about showing respect, showing appreciation, love, care, sweetness and all of those. People love to be appreciated and a woman does all the time. For women, we tend to need the appreciation for all the things that we do especially from our man; reason for this is that we love the feeling of being showered with sweet and great phrases. Men on the other hand, love to be respected and wanted all the time; he wants his woman like even before she landed to him. At the first stages of the relationship, a woman is smiling a lot, touching or caressing his man and sweet all the time, always trying to be beautiful in the eyes of her man but then as after some months or years she started to put any clothes, stops fixing herself the best that she can do, etc. A man wants to have a woman that will be the same from the first day that they met up to the very last end.

I guess I have stressed the idea a lot and we have to move further; now, the next step, while you are having some time all by yourself, you have to do whatever that makes you happy. Try to stick with an activity that will make you relax and breathe while trying to let the tension between you cool down. It is also best if you will discover and explore some things that will develop your personality; it can be an activity or a sport, etc. This can be an outlet for you to temporarily let go of the fact and the pain; you can date some men or women if it is needed and meet new people however, always remember that this is just a temporary time – your goal is to get your ex back and not to find someone else.

One month is enough for letting the tension cool down and going back will be easy if you will have a specific plan for it. You need to do a plan that will help you get your ex back; one thing that you have to remember in doing the plan is about realizing on your own that you can definitely bring back what you’ve shared. Keep in mind that there is a way and you need to get into that for you to start with your journey again. Now, the most important thing that you should prepare yourself is taking the blame; this might sound so hard to do. You know, taking the pride and laying off your hands and saying “I’m sorry” even if it is not your fault is indeed hard to do. Think of this, your main goal is to get him or her back so that you may be able to save the relationship that you have; you are doing this not to save your pride and face but to save the relationship and start again.

Goodluck! ^.^

Sad love story

Being too problematic about a certain issue is not always a solution to every problem. There are a lot of ways for us to cope up with all the hardships that we encounter in life. Sometimes if we get what we want, we come to realize that it is not what we need. We have been blinded at first by the situation that will soon make us realize how unreasonable the decision was.

I haven't experienced such a relationship that will give me more happiness than pain or that which can be called as somewhat "close to perfect" relationship. All of us are been wanting to have such kind of a relationship with the ones we love but after some time we will realize that everything is going in vain and we are not happy anymore. Those are the times that both of you are already hurting each other unintentionally. At this very moment, the next solution you have in mind is breaking up. Letting all the tension between you cool down for a while but how can you do it if the love is still there; alive inside your heart.

When I was a little boy, I always thought that i will be happy when I fall in love but now, I have realized that if you start to learn how to love and give your heart to someone, you also give them the right to hurt you. The reason why I am suffering is not because my love has end but because it still continues even after the relationship is over.

According to one of my favorite lines in a movie, the three things that cannot be hidden are poverty, cough and love. At the time that you try to hide it these three things appear even more clearly. But most of the time, we really want to hide it like love. If you want to hide love, just cry. Let your heart be free from all those emotions by crying. Let it all flow in your eyes like it will be over as soon as your eyes get dry. If your head gets tired and empty, then cry again. Just learn how to let go of your emotions by crying, it will help you feel better.

Most of the time in my life, I have cried. I have been hurt more often than being happy. I have learned that some of us were just born to be lucky to experience more happiness than pain. But I am not one of them. Sad to say I am not, and maybe you are thinking that you are too because you have just cried last night like me.

If I am sad or in pain, I do the scribbling technique. I write all of the things that I am feeling in a piece of paper while crying. When I have written everything, I will just burn it into pieces and let its ashes go with the wind. Through that I can feel like I ma letting go of the problem and just face whatever that will happen in the next days. It's just one way of saying "God, I am letting you finish the problem that I have, I am gonna give it all to you."

Another thing that I always do to lessen the heartache is by cooking. It will make you busy as the time pass so fast. Another thing is writing a poem, or composing a song. You can write a poem with all your emotions on it and then if you know how to put some music on it, then that's better. These were just small things that I know but it is helping me a lot.

Still, it is better to fall in love and be in pain instead of not even experiencing how to love and be loved. In order for us to learn and grow, we need to experience all the hurts and pain until the time that we found the true happiness that we have been waiting for. Remember that if you are still losing people in your life that means so much to you, it just means that there is someone that is much better than the person you lost. If you haven't found the true happiness then it is still not the end of a love story.