I know I'm wrong and I won't deny it. I don't want to do this but I know I have to. I need to be free while learning what love truly is. I need freedom but I still need to love for my soul to survive. I know I should not be clinging on to this thought I have inside my head but I know that this is the only thing that can make me strong and can make me continue living without fears, without pain, without sadness, without anything that would hurt me.
I have loved and lost; just like any other guys trying to move on. This is not easy, it really isn't. But I have to think about myself just for now. I need to be alive to continue learning and living with the jealous world who is stealing everything that I need. I know that letting go does not exist in my vocabulary but I am learning how to do it right now. I don't have to tell youwhat I need to do, because it will be better if I will just do it by myself without asking anyone's help.
I know I can survive, and I know I can forget all the pain and the hurts but all I need is time. I need to prepare for what will soon come into my life. I know that love is not for me and I won't fool anyone for this bad luck that I have for love. It is just not for me; that's it - love is not really for me.
All I want is to go somewhere that nobody knows me and no one is expecting too much from me. I want to live just like a normal person. I don't really need all these money and expensive things because the only thing that is important to me for now is peace of mind and simple life with God and with someone who will take care of me. I will not wish for more, all I want now is to be with God *literally* or the second option that I have is to live away from here.
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